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Maggody the Musical


YOU'RE A DETOUR ON THE HIGHWAY TO HEAVEN
lyrics copyright 1993 by Joan Hess, Dorothy Cannell, and Sharyn McCrumb

featured in O Little Town of Maggody


When mama lay a-dyin' on the flatbed,
She warned me not to truck with girls like you,
But I was caught in the glare of your headlights,
And went joy-ridin' just for the view.


(Chorus)
You're a detour on the highway to Heaven,
I am lost on the backroads of sin,
I have got to get back on the four-lane,
So that I can see Mama again.


Your curves made me lose my directions,
My hands from the steering wheel strayed,
But you were just one more roadside attraction,
It's been ten thousand miles since I prayed.


If you ever get out of the fast lane,
And get back on that highway above,
I'll be waitin' for you at the toll booth,
In that land where all roads end in love.


THE ALPHABET SINS
lyrics copyright 1998 by Joan Hess and Brother Willard Verber

featured in Misery Loves Maggody
sung (really, really fast!) to the tune of "Gilligan's Island" --

Atheism bestiality cunnilingus drive-in movies,
evolution and excessive body hair,
fornication gluttony heathenism immodesty,
jealousy and killin' with a pear.

Lustful thoughts and masturbation and naked breasts,
obscenities, promiscuity, queers and rape,
sacrilege and titillatin' bathing suits,
unseemly shorts that make a man to gape.

Violence and wickedness and x-tramarital affairs,
with sluts that ain't your wife,
yadeedahdeedahdeedah and zionism.
This is the sinful life.
ROADKILL SWEETHEARTS
lyrics copyright 1993 by K. Whitbread and M. Montana

You ran over my heart like an eighteen wheeler
You left me and hurt me when you left me for her
You treated me mean and you laughed at my pain
Burnin' rubber on my heart while you drove the fast lane

So honey, honey here's a warnin'
When crossin' the street please watch both ways
Cause I'm barrellin' down in an eighteen wheeler
And I aim to run you down some day

You're my Roadkill Sweetheart
I've thought it all through
You're my Roadkill Sweetheart
No matter what you do
It's my Roadkill Sweetheart I'm lookin' forward to
Yes, my Roadkill Sweetheart
Adieu, Adieu

 

 

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